THE LAST SUPPER

     My family plays a game called The Last Supper, which goes like this: If you knew you were about to eat your last meal in this dimension, what would it be?  Here's the fun part:  There are no rules and no limit to the number of courses or plates involved, and there's no Jiminy Cricket sitting on your shoulder reminding you to include a green vegetable.  Just list your favorite foods of all time.

     While you're pondering yours, let me share mine:

     Caesar salad with cornbread croutons.  Yes, I said you didn't have to include a green vegetable, but I happen to love salads, especially of the Caesar variety.

     Nachos with freshly roasted green chiles and enough cheese to block out the sun, the absolute history of cheese.  I don't want to be able to see even the corner of a chip peeking out from under it all.  

        Fettuccine Alfredo with lots of fresh black pepper.  'Nuff said. 

      A Maryland soft-shell crab with a side of Thrasher's French fries.  The crab speaks for itself, but if you're not from the Chesapeake Bay area, you might not be familiar with Thrasher's fries.  Let me enlighten you.  On any list of the best French fries in the United States, Thrasher's is always near the top.  They have shops on the boardwalk in Ocean City, Maryland, and Rehoboth Beach, Delaware, and you know you're getting close when you 1) smell the heavenly combination of peanut oil, salt, and vinegar, and 2) you see the end of the line, which is decidedly farther away from the shop than the head of the line, but it's worth the wait.  Anticipation is part of the thrill when it comes to these fries.  The line moves quickly because not one of the hot, sweaty, spud-slinging individuals behind the counter ever stops moving.  Ever.  When you reach the head of the line, you shout out your order, and when your money has barely left your hands, a large cup (or bucket -- go, you!) of sizzling fries is handed to you.  If you're a seasoned veteran, you know to move the heck out of the way and down to the fixings bar, a term I use loosely because it includes only two items: shakers of salt and bottles of vinegar.  Anoint your fries, and then again, get the heck out of the way.  And please, in the name of all that is holy, do not EVER ask for ketchup.  If you do, you will witness for the first time in recorded history all those hot, sweaty, spud-slinging individuals (as well as everyone on the boardwalk within a block of you) come to a complete halt while they pause to glare at you as if you had just . . . well, ASKED FOR KETCHUP AT THRASHER'S!  It's simply not done!  Trust me, the combination of freshly fried, crispy, salty, vinegary potatoes eaten while walking on the boardwalk on an Atlantic beach summer day is what heaven's all about.  

     Now, here is where most would probably include dessert, and there was a time when I wouldn't have hesitated, but these days, my cravings run more toward salty/crispy/cheesy rather than sweet.  If I were strung up by my thumbs, I'd say, "All right, I'll have a big piece of wedding cake, the corner piece with the huge buttercream icing roses, guaranteed to put me in a sugar coma until Tuesday."  But frankly, I'd rather go out with the taste of those Thrasher's fries. 

     So that's my last meal.  How about yours?  Please be sure to include all those dishes you're probably avoiding now because they're too fatty, too salty, too naughty, or too whathaveyou.  In fact, the first time I read through my list, it struck me that none of those foods had touched my lips in years.  I quickly remedied that by including one of my favorites on our weekly "Naughty Night" menu after realizing what a complete pisser it would be to lie on my death bed thinking, "I wish I'd eaten more nachos.  I really loved nachos."  Don't let that happen to you!

     Epilogue:  The day after my last supper, I arrive at the pearly gates, and when they are opened to welcome me, the first thing I see is . . . no, it can't possibly be!  It's the bathroom scale I cussed at for years and finally threw in the trash decades ago!  Nooooooooooo!  But when I step hesitantly forward, I see that the sinister looking eyes are gone, and in their place, my scale is sporting a happy face emoji with hearts for eyes.  It speaks: "Don't be afraid.  Step on up!" So I do, with closed eyes and a trembling tummy.  And before I have the courage to look, the scale exclaims, "Congratulations, Marilyn, you've lost five pounds!"  (Cue the harps and the angel choir!)  Hallelujah, this IS heaven!

WALKING TO HOUSTON

     I've been an athlete my whole life, from Boys and Girls Club softball and after-school kickball to high school soccer, golf, tennis, biking, weight lifting, and finally, my true love -- running.  After participating in numerous 10K and 10-mile races, I set my sights on a marathon and eventually completed two.  

     However, not long after the second one, I hit a health bump in the road that forced me to lay off pretty much everything except sitting still.  I suffered both physically and psychologically, unable to go for my daily run.  It took several years for me to recover to the point that I could consider any kind of exercise again, and when I did, I was forced to accept the fact that running was not going to be a part of my immediate future.  That led to a period of depression that only ended when I finally gave myself a swift kick in the pantaloons and decided I had to do something, ANYTHING except sit still for another minute.  So I started walking.  I grumbled a good bit the first few times because I remembered passing walkers while I was out running and thinking to myself, "What a waste of time."  Not any more!

      Fast forward to 2016.  Before long, I began to look forward to my daily walk the way I used to crave my daily run.  In fact, I became such an avid walker that I decided to keep a journal of my times and distances just for fun.  To my amazement, here's what happened last year:  

      I walked 1,166 miles.  I could have walked from Scottsdale to Houston!

     If someone suggested that you go out and walk 1,166 miles, your response would probably be the same as mine: "Okay, you first." But it adds up faster than you can imagine.  I walk Monday through Friday,  an hour a day, though if I have an unexpected day off, I often go longer or walk in the morning and again in the afternoon.  As for speed, I'm certainly not scorching the pavement, but I move right along.  And look what can happen.

      Now, this might seem like a story about me, but it's intended to be a story about what can be. If you're struggling with a new year's resolution that isn't satisfying or if you sometimes wonder what the point of it all is, I'm here to tell you that every little bit helps, every walk counts, and those baby steps really do add up.  Keep a journal of your own and see where you end up by the end of 2017.  Walk on!

SHORT AND SWEET

     No one I know has a spare nanosecond for leisure reading this time of year, so this will be short and sweet, just a few thoughts about the holidays:

   Please do not let the word "diet" cross your lips this month.  If you're on a diet right now, 1) no one wants to hear about it, and 2) tsk, tsk.  There are parties to attend and cookies to bake for Santa.  Kick up your heels!  Live your life!

   During the next two weeks, do something kind and unsolicited for someone in need, and don't tell anyone.

  Eat. 

  Walk.

  
  Laugh. 

  This season and all year long, remember that in the end, the only thing that really matters is love.  Love is the only thing. 

                                                 Peace

EAT, WALK, LAUGH

     As we head into the holidays and the clock begins to move at warp speed (wasn't it just Labor Day?), it's easy to get caught up in the stress of preparations and forget about the little things we can do for ourselves every day that will make life more manageable.  These are a few things I feel strongly about all year long, but I especially try to keep them in mind now:

     I believe fruits and vegetables are medicine.  It's impossible to walk through the produce section of a grocery store and not sense a greater power at work.  During the summer, the first thing that hits me is always the scent of ripe peaches, followed by strawberries, blueberries, and cantaloupes.  In the fall, the deep, rich colors of apples, pumpkins, and squash are a treat for the eyes.  And not only do these delights look good, they are jammed with vitamins, antioxidants, and fiber to keep us strong, healthy, and immune.  When it seems as if there are platters of cookies, cakes, and cheeses at every turn, I make sure to get my daily share of vegetables to keep things in balance. 

     I believe walking is medicine.  A life-long runner and workout fanatic, I have recently rediscovered the delights of walking.  It's hard to ignore the power and benefits of a movement we begin to do instinctively when we're still babies and that we can continue for the rest of our lives.  When there don't seem to be enough hours in the day, I recommit to taking my daily walk to ensure that my bones, heart, and head stay strong and clear. 

      I believe laughter is medicine, and I'm certainly not the first one to say it, but it bears repeating.  Do you remember the last time you had a real belly laugh, the kind that brings tears to your eyes and makes your stomach muscles sore?  It lifts your spirits AND works your abs!  When holiday traffic is crazy and stores are filled with anxious, impatient shoppers, I keep a few funny memories in my head so I can reflect on something more pleasant for a moment.  And if you ever pass me when I'm out walking, I'm the one talking to myself and, more often than not, laughing my ass off.  Yes, THAT one.  

     I believe in the power of good food, daily walking, and frequent, very loud belly laughs.  May your holidays be healthy, peaceful, and bright.

AHHHHHH-CTOBER

     Ahhhhh, October.  For those of us who live in the desert, it means the mercury plummets into the 90s during the day and it's cool enough at night to sleep with the windows open.  For others of you, perhaps it means fall leaves, pumpkin patches, and fireplaces.  Either way, this month definitely signals the end of summer, which is accompanied by a change in our exercise and eating habits. 

     If the hot weather has provided you with endless reasons for not exercising outside, you're officially busted.  Leave those excuses by the door and get out there and walk, run, bike, hike, rake leaves, plant bulbs, walk the dog, fill in your blank.  With Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's waiting at the doorstep, it can't hurt to wage an early battle against those inevitable holiday pounds. 

      As for eating, we bid a sad farewell to corn on the cob and fresh tomatoes (why don't I ever eat quite enough of those when they're around?), but it's time to welcome back apples, pears, spaghetti squash, Brussels sprouts, cauliflower, sweet potatoes, and mushrooms, just to name a few.  Though many of those are available year-round, they're at their peak this time of year, so treat yourself.  Here are some of my favorites:

     1) Apples:  Nothing says summer's over like biting into a crunchy, juicy apple, and this is the perfect time of year for pies, crisps, and cobblers.  

     2) Spaghetti squash:  One of my favorite secret weapons, this beauty will make you forget you're missing pasta, if indeed you are missing pasta.  Microwave it, scrape out the innards with a fork, and top it with your favorite sauce.  

     3) Sweet potatoes:  I have to admit, I don't love a sweet potato by itself.  I've heard folks swoon over a baked one with butter and brown sugar, but I can only think, "Meh."  So consider using them the same way you would white potatoes -- potato salad, au gratin potatoes, or even mashed potatoes made with a mixture of half white and half sweet potatoes are more colorful and more nutritious.  Remember, color = vitamins and antioxidants.  

   4) Cauliflower:  If you haven't switched from cauliflower florets to cauliflower steaks, you are behind the curve.  Just slice that head into 1" - 2" "steaks," place them on a roasting pan, drizzle with olive oil and seasonings, and bake them until they're tender.  Heaven on a plate. 

    5) Pumpkins:  I don't love pumpkins, but I included them because everybody else seems to.  You can cook them or decorate with them, and they just scream IT'S FALL, but if I hear the phrase "pumpkin spice latte" one more time, I will not be responsible for my actions.  And if I ever hear you actually say "PSL" out loud, you better get off my porch. Fast.

     6) Soups:  If you have a fridge full of vegetables you don't know what to do with, throw them all together in a big pot and call it soup.  You cannot go wrong with soup because you don't know exactly what it's going to be until it's finished, so you won't be disappointing anybody.  Talk about pressure-free cooking!

     7) Crockpot anything:  I love me a crockpot.  Like big pots of soup, you can throw pretty much anything into a slow cooker and it will be fabulous. It may be unidentifiable, but it will be fabulous.  Think chili, beef stew, whole chickens, and even dips.  Set it and forget it. 

     So go out and move around in the cool air, unpack your sweaters, and nourish yourself with warm, comforting foods.  Enjoy this special time of year!

LOVIN' THE OVEN

     I've reached THAT AGE.  Ladies, you know what I mean.  Gentlemen, you don't, but read on -- your attention now will reward you handsomely in the future.  Here it is:   I've reached the age where nothing thrills me like a new appliance.  A minor appliance makes the earth move under my feet.  A major appliance rocks my world. 

      Last year, we updated our kitchen from floor to ceiling, including a sparkling new oven which I refused to allow anyone (read: My One And Only) to use because I couldn't bear the thought of it getting dirty.  Or greasy.  Or crumbly.  Or turned ON.  Eventually, of course, I had to give in, but for a month after that, I only baked small, tidy batches of things in large, disposable foil containers that could be efficiently whisked off to the trash to prevent my even remembering that the oven had been warmed.  And after each and every culinary production, I cleaned that oven with my rubber gloves and my scrubby sponges and my furrowed brow until it once again sparkled like new.  I did not accomplish much else during that month.  

      Eventually, of course, My One And Only insisted on cooking.  IN THE NEW OVEN.  What, I asked.  Ribs, he replied.  Call me when it's over, I said as I left the room. 

        Fast forward to now.  I've relaxed a bit, but I still weep quietly to myself when that new oven gets greasy or crumbly, and I still clean it regularly and thoroughly.  However, I've also learned that the reason the ovens on the Food Network always look like they've never been used is because THEY'VE NEVER BEEN USED.  They're nothing but show ponies.  The real cooking goes on behind the scenes where, I must assume, a posse of rubber gloved, furrowed-browed terminators stop cleaning them only long enough for a single dish to be completed before diving into them again with wild abandon because, I feel sure, even the behind-the-scenes ovens are spotless at the Food Network.  Not so in real life. 

      Which brings me to my new favorite appliance -- an unassuming little powerhouse that barely takes up enough counter space to mention, yet produces scrumptious sensations of all kinds with barely enough trouble to mention.  I am talking TOASTER OVEN.  A toaster and an oven all in one.  Perhaps you've heard of such a thing.  Perhaps you own such a thing.  Perhaps you are even thinking, where have you been living, you poor dear, in a barn?  Could be, but I promise you, you do not love your toaster oven as much as I love my toaster oven.  For starters, toast is the least of it.  I can't recall the last time I asked my little darling to simply make toast.  What a waste.  Barbie's playhouse oven can toast, roast, bake, broil, and make pizza, according to the impressive assortment of settings on the front.  I doubt I have allowed it to reach its full foodie potential yet, but I have baked everything in it except for a whole chicken -- the only thing that won't fit.  But let's talk pork tenderloin, pork chops, salmon fillets, a rack of ribs (cut in half), eggs in avocado cups, a bevy of baked potatoes, a cast of casseroles, a couple of quiches, and a pie.  Yup, shut up, a PIE.  Imagine the fun!  Imagine the convenience!  Imagine rarely having to use (or CLEAN) your big girl oven!  

      Now, you may be thinking, that's fine and dandy if you're a single or a double or a family of very picky eaters, but what if you house growing boys or an entire cheerleading squad of girls or a large extended family that begins to assemble at dusk in anticipation of the multi-platter evening meal?  Not to worry.  Consider the toaster oven the sous chef to your big boy.  Roast the chicken in the big oven and let the baby oven handle the taters or the macaroni and cheese or the broccoli/cauliflower mash-up.  Plus, everything will be done at the same time, not an easy achievement, and frankly I don't know how one manages that after cramming everything into one big oven.  Divide and conquer, I say. 

      So, ladies, if you don't already own one of these little beauties, treat yourself.  If yours is more than a decade old, re-treat yourself.  (They've come a long way, baby.)  And gentlemen, take note.  If you've been with Your Reason for Living less than ten years, you'd probably be wise to continue festooning her at every opportunity with tiny sparkling things.  But if you've been together more than 15 years, consider giving her a big sparkling thing that will put a smile on her face every time she walks into the kitchen.  Give her some lovin' with a new toaster oven.    

AND YOU'RE OFF!

          So you’re off on a little vacation, are you?  Or maybe you’re hightailing it out of here for the entire summer.  More power to you.  Either way, I’m quite sure that one of the most important things on your mind right now is, “What the heck is going to happen to my fitness program while I’m away?”  Well, here’s your very simple solution.

         If you’ll only be away for a week, do your body a favor and give it a rest.  Honestly, sometimes it’s the best thing.  And if you’re going to the beach or the mountains, chances are you’ll be walking, swimming, hiking, or doing something active, so all is not lost.

        If you’re leaving for a month or more, you’ve got a little homework to do, but it’s not a complicated assignment.  If you’re staying at a resort hotel or with family or friends, there will probably be a fitness center available to you nearby.  Use it if you’re accustomed to working out in that kind of facility at home, but there are plenty of other things you can do while you’re away.  For example, a variety of very effective exercises can be performed using only your body weight -– squats, lunges, walking lunges, push-ups, pull-ups, crunches, and back extensions, to name a few.  Do a few sets of each of those exercises two or three times a week while you’re gone, and you won’t be starting all over from scratch when you get home.  And if you don’t usually perform any of those exercises, here’s a chance to try something new and different. Check out a class at that local gym or treat yourself to a session with a new trainer.  Take this opportunity to try a fresh approach. 

          If your biggest fear about going on vacation is the temptation to overeat, the same theory applies.  If you’ll be away for a week, you’ll probably gain a couple of pounds.  Just plan on it, and don’t panic.  When you get home and return to your normal eating and exercise habits, you’ll shed those pounds in no time.  If you’ll be away for a month, try not to lose your mind at every single meal, but have some fun, particularly if you’re visiting a place famous for its regional foods.  The day after any unusually large meal, try to eat lighter and do a little more exercise.  You’ll be okay.

          When you get home, be aware of one of the most common post-vacation traps of all.  It goes something like this: “Gee, I’m tired and I’ve got all this laundry to do and tons of paperwork on my desk, and gosh, I just don’t think I can get back to the gym this week.  I’ll start again next week.”  Sometimes “next week” turns into “next month,” and before you know it, you’re starting from square one or not starting again at all.  So enjoy your vacation, treat yourself to some new and interesting foods, move around as much as possible, and get back to business as soon as you get home.  And have a terrific time!