Sunday, May 8, 2016

Fitness for Fido

          Hey, you there!  Yes, you, blissfully ensconced in the recliner where you have quite possibly been cooling your heels for the entire winter.   Believe it or not, this time I’m not here to nag you about your lack of exercise.  You can go right ahead and lie there until Labor Day if you want to, but take a quick look down at that furry friend lying loyally at your feet.  Just snoring away, I’ll bet.  Looks so peaceful, you just hate to disturb him, don’t you?  Maybe you haven’t noticed -- FIDO’S PACKED ON A FEW POUNDS WHILE HE’S BEEN LYING AROUND WITH YOU ALL WINTER.   Extra weight can take months off your doggie’s life (not to mention yours, but we’re not speaking about you at this particular moment), and, heaven knows, they don’t live nearly long enough as it is.  So what are we going to do about this?  I’ll tell you.  We’re going to take that poochie for a walk, my friend, and we’re going to do it this instant!  Where’s his leash?  Where are his liver cookies?  Where’s your good-neighbor doody bag?  Up and at ‘em!  We’re out of here!  Don’t wait dinner, we might not be home before dark!

          But hold up.  Stop for a second and take another look down at Fido.  And by now, he’s positively cross-eyed with the thrill of it all, but God love him, he’s a bit of a wide load these days, and he’s not quite as young as he used to be.  (Neither are you, but remember, we’re not speaking about you at this particular moment).  Let’s be realistic.  We need to start Fido off slowly, just like any other beginning exerciser.  And maybe it’s only been a few months rather than a few years since you and Fido went walkies, but have a heart.  He’s not going to be able to just leap up off the carpet and trot five miles.  So walk him over to the mailbox or down to the corner and get him started slowly, then give him a chance to get back in shape gradually and sensibly.  Also, I’m sure I don’t need to mention that we will not be doing this during the heat of the day, but rather at dawn or late in the evening – some hour when the asphalt isn’t molten.  Think of Fido’s tootsies, after all.  

          Also, take into consideration the breed and size of your dog as you embark on your new exercise regime.  I once had a golden retriever who ran six miles a day with me and barely broke a sweat.  Now, we have a 140-pound Newfoundland girl who enjoys a spirited jaunt to the corner every afternoon, but after about 15 minutes, she's more than ready for a long drink of water and an even longer recovery nap.  That's a lot of furry real estate to move through space!  Your English bulldog is never going to be a distance runner, and your retired Greyhound needs a bit more than a stroll to the end of the driveway.  Be sensible about it.

          Finally, is there anything your dog loves more than going for a walk with you?  I doubt it.  Just the jingle of a leash can cause even the calmest of canines to spin frantically in circles.  So, for heaven’s sake, leave your agenda at the door and let him have a little fun while he’s out there.  Walking the dog is NOT group exercise.  Roger Caras said when a dog sniffs a bush, he’s picking up his mail, and when he pees on a tree, he’s sending a letter.  Doggies seem to have an awful lot of social correspondence to keep up with, don’t they? So take him out, reintroduce him to the fresh air, and relax yourself.   Don’t try to make Fido walk at your pace so you can kill two exercise birds with one stone.  Let him have a little fun.  HE’S A DOG.  And aren’t they just the best?